Happy New Year!
It's been a long time since I've blogged. Today is a day that has me reflecting and thinking, so a blog post is in order.
What I've learned in the last year:
1. Falling in love is the easy part. Love is actually not enough to sustain a relationship. Communication and mutual respect is vital to a happy marriage or relationship. Every day requires a lot of work -- and when someone tells you, "Love shouldn't be hard or shouldn't require work" -- I call BS. Love is hard and does require work.
2. You cannot make someone happy. You cannot help/change someone who is intent on being unhappy or living in emotional chaos. You can vote with your feet and either stay around to live in chaos with them or you can exit stage left. Just because someone is "family" by genetics or marriage doesn't mean you should allow them to blacken your life.
3. My heart is capable of loving a lot of people. I never used to understand when people said, "I love you" to their friends. I finally get it. I really get it.
4. The ability to open your mind and grasp a new concept or a lifestyle vastly different from your own is available to all thinking human beings. Some choose to be narrow minded and judgemental.
5. Complaining about something doesn't change it. We all need to vent our frustrations but constantly hyper focusing on them leads to continued negative thinking and bias against everything.
6. There is a difference between supporting someone whether it be moral support or financial support and enabling. Enabling is no bueno.
7. Sometimes, being a hardass gets old. In my job, I have to be a hardass 85% of the time. At home, I have to be a hardass 85% of the time. I love the 15% of the time I get to be soft and fluffy. I know the 85% of the hardass time serves its purpose because my children are becoming self-sufficient and accountable. They have goals that they will achieve on their own -- not because I was a hovering parent who made things happen for them. I'm not going to live forever thus I can't fix everything for them. I must give them the tools to navigate this life on their own.
8. Treat people well. Really. A smile. A kind word. A simple touch on the arm. A simple, "How are you?" can make someone's day. Go out of your way to just be nice a few times a day. You would be amazed at how kindness breeds good will.
Enjoy 2013!!!
