That didn't take long

Our marriage counselor told us tonight that we probably didn't need to come back for a month or so.

Go figure.  Three sessions and we are fixed.

Well, we aren't fixed but we are sure a lot better.

I asked Bob tonight what he learned.  His response?  "I learned I'm always right and you are always wrong."  Dude.

But that's sort of the way it has gone.  Not completely but the counselor made it very clear that sometimes my expectations aren't necessarily fair.

I do a good job of being my own advocate and confronting issues head on.  But my expectation that Bob would speak up on my behalf when people are not being pleasant to me, isn't necessarily fair.  Bob is responsive when I bring it up but I do have to bring it up.  She said this is fair.  It would be disrespectful if he wasn't reponsive to my request.  So....okay.  It's that "Can't read your mind thing."

All in all, I learned we do more right than wrong.

We communicate well (now).  We show each other a lot of consideration and respect.  We have a high level of trust. 

I've learned to back up and let him process.  He's slower than I am. 

I've learned to wait for him and not jump in when he pauses.

I've learned that we process things very differently and that's okay. 

He's learned to talk.  Seriously.  He did.  He is talking more and more.  Speaking to the counselor about some things seems to have broken something loose in him. 

He's learned that he loves the stability that I bring to his life.  He loves my family.  He loves that we are able to talk things through.

And today, when we finished up...laughing at each other, it made me love him even more.

For a man that refused to go to counseling, that counseling was a joke, he really stepped up and participated fully.