I've been thinking about my blog a lot lately. I sort of forgot I had one. But I really need to write on it today.
Today, I spent quite a lot of time and energy trying to help Sabrina get an IEP at school. I made multiple phone calls, was at the high school at 6:45 a.m., ordered 5 different books, made more phone calls, reached out to multiple sources seeking information and help. And you know what I see today as I check on Sabrina's facebook? A note from her Aunt (her mother's sister) saying how she wishes Sabrina's mother was alive so she could kick my ass. Really? Yep, because I'm that awful person that has busted my butt for 2 years trying to help a child that is not mine be as normal as possible. Yep, that is just horrible. I'm the person who set up the Facebook so that Vickey's family would have a way to communicate with Sabrina and so Sabrina could be a normal teen. So why would you write that crap where a 14 year girl is going to read it? Seriously?
Sigh....this on a day when I feel just exhausted. I'm overwhelmed with work and teaching and kids. Trying to make sure I'm not neglecting my own child while I'm so wrapped up into helping Sabrina. Trying to make sure I'm completely ignoring Amanda just because she is older and needs less of my attention.
You know, there are days where I just wanna say, "Have at it folks....if ya'all think you can do better, go for it." But you know, these are the same people that were in these kids' life the whole time and didn't do a damned thing other than cause misery and pain. So I guess I'm okay...just frustrated.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Stranger things....
**Observation of the day: The amount of crazy people with whom I have contact is directly proportionate to the amount of prescription drug coverage my insurance provides. God brings me all the crazy people because it only costs me $15 a month in anti-depressants and high blood pressure medicine.**
"Well I'm bipolar and havent taken my meds in a month or so. I keep thinking of killing my sister."
"I'm bipolar and right now I can't quit crying so I think you should take me home."
"I'm bipolar...that's why I pick convicts to get me pregnant. All my baby daddies are in prison."
"I'm bipolar, that's why I had sex with a midget and he got me pregnant."
"Well, I tried to kill myself this one time by jumping out of the window. Didn't work. I'm okay now, I just cut myself."
(All by different students)
"Well I flunked 3 class, big deal. Why don't I still get my grant money? WHAT? The government doesn't pay us to fail? WTF is wrong with you people?"
"Well, I need to go to Vegas to get married so I need my stifend."
"So you mean I have to payfor my books?"
"I was withdrawn from school because I just quit coming. When do I get my next stifend check?"
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE:
"Hey...you know you want some of dis! Come over miz patti and get some!"
"Well I'm bipolar and havent taken my meds in a month or so. I keep thinking of killing my sister."
"I'm bipolar and right now I can't quit crying so I think you should take me home."
"I'm bipolar...that's why I pick convicts to get me pregnant. All my baby daddies are in prison."
"I'm bipolar, that's why I had sex with a midget and he got me pregnant."
"Well, I tried to kill myself this one time by jumping out of the window. Didn't work. I'm okay now, I just cut myself."
(All by different students)
"Well I flunked 3 class, big deal. Why don't I still get my grant money? WHAT? The government doesn't pay us to fail? WTF is wrong with you people?"
"Well, I need to go to Vegas to get married so I need my stifend."
"So you mean I have to payfor my books?"
"I was withdrawn from school because I just quit coming. When do I get my next stifend check?"
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE:
"Hey...you know you want some of dis! Come over miz patti and get some!"
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Heard at work.....
"Should I use the school's address for my home address or my home address as my home address for my FAFSA?"
"I didn't get loans. I got financial aid. It's all free. I don't have to pay anything back.'
"Obama said I go to school for free."
"I need stifend money to pay my boof rent."
"Well, I cheated on my husband with another student. My husband followed me to school and caught me making out with my new boyfriend in the parking lot."
"Well I cheated on my wife with another student. Now my wife won't give me my stepon, so you need to give me some more."
"Can I still get my stevon money if I withdraw from school?"
"Well I use my kids' social security to live on. Since that is going to end soon, Ima go to school to get paid."
The things heard in the financial aid office......
"I didn't get loans. I got financial aid. It's all free. I don't have to pay anything back.'
"Obama said I go to school for free."
"I need stifend money to pay my boof rent."
"Well, I cheated on my husband with another student. My husband followed me to school and caught me making out with my new boyfriend in the parking lot."
"Well I cheated on my wife with another student. Now my wife won't give me my stepon, so you need to give me some more."
"Can I still get my stevon money if I withdraw from school?"
"Well I use my kids' social security to live on. Since that is going to end soon, Ima go to school to get paid."
The things heard in the financial aid office......
Monday, July 18, 2011
Kicking an addiction...
I'm yet again attempting to stop smoking. I've been on Wellbutrin again for the last two weeks. I smoked my last cigarette tonight with a little fanfare. I'm ready to stop. I really am. I just don't want to gain any weight. I went to a "Back on the Bandwagon" seminar with just 5 of us with Dr. Simpson. I'm trying to get back on track there as well. Hopefully all of it together will be good.
We went to see Harry Potter tonight. It was very well done and I enjoyed the movie. Sorry to see it end but sort of glad at the same time. Those "poor" kids need to do something different with their lives.
**Edit....(continued on Monday)
I suck. I smoked today. At about 9:30 a.m. I felt the urge to reach across my desk and choke someone. I smoked. Sigh.
I'm thinking quitting smoking, cutting out Sweet N Low, Diet Coke and Maple goodies is probably not a good idea all at once. Especially this week.
Why do I like to fall asleep watching TV? I mean, I really, really like it. It makes me happy. I really wish the TV had a timer tough so I wouldn't wake up to the TV. Ya know? I want to go to sleep with it but don't want it to wake me up. Ahhh...one day, my pretty, one day.
I've been reading a website devoted to women dating a widower for quite sometime. Now there's a Facebook group. I joined. It's for women dating, married to or otherwise involved with a widower. Very interesting. The overall consensus seems to be that the late wife's family is the source of most problems. Go figure.
This weekend Bob changed his FB status to "Married" -- and then I confirmed it. We didn't get married. But he did it to amuse himself with his former in-laws reading it and having a coronary. Some people need to get a life.
We went to see Harry Potter tonight. It was very well done and I enjoyed the movie. Sorry to see it end but sort of glad at the same time. Those "poor" kids need to do something different with their lives.
**Edit....(continued on Monday)
I suck. I smoked today. At about 9:30 a.m. I felt the urge to reach across my desk and choke someone. I smoked. Sigh.
I'm thinking quitting smoking, cutting out Sweet N Low, Diet Coke and Maple goodies is probably not a good idea all at once. Especially this week.
Why do I like to fall asleep watching TV? I mean, I really, really like it. It makes me happy. I really wish the TV had a timer tough so I wouldn't wake up to the TV. Ya know? I want to go to sleep with it but don't want it to wake me up. Ahhh...one day, my pretty, one day.
I've been reading a website devoted to women dating a widower for quite sometime. Now there's a Facebook group. I joined. It's for women dating, married to or otherwise involved with a widower. Very interesting. The overall consensus seems to be that the late wife's family is the source of most problems. Go figure.
This weekend Bob changed his FB status to "Married" -- and then I confirmed it. We didn't get married. But he did it to amuse himself with his former in-laws reading it and having a coronary. Some people need to get a life.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Strange things....
I'm preparing for the next class I'm teaching. Of course, I haven't taught it before and I don't have access to the book yet; so I decide to check out the last few instructors' syllabi to see how they structured the class. Interesting. One instructor is a prosecuting attorning for Maricopa County. One is a dance instructor...huh? One has 3 Master's degrees and lists her dogs on her syllabus as her kids and even includes their weights. Well alrighty then.
I only have on Master's degree. What a loser.
I'm afraid to list the dogs on my syllabus. RJ is such a good boy someone would try to steal him. Would so!!
Speaking of RJ...I totally missed my dog this last weekend while we were out of town. I missed the girls too, but I was having serious issues with missing my boy.
I wonder if I'm the only person that owns 25 pairs of shoes, of which half of them hurt my feet? And yet I keep them all because I wear them to work. When my feet hurt I become crabby. And my feet hurt in anything other than a tennis shoe or a Birkenstock sandal. So yeah, my feet hurt every day I go to work.
I only have on Master's degree. What a loser.
I'm afraid to list the dogs on my syllabus. RJ is such a good boy someone would try to steal him. Would so!!
Speaking of RJ...I totally missed my dog this last weekend while we were out of town. I missed the girls too, but I was having serious issues with missing my boy.
I wonder if I'm the only person that owns 25 pairs of shoes, of which half of them hurt my feet? And yet I keep them all because I wear them to work. When my feet hurt I become crabby. And my feet hurt in anything other than a tennis shoe or a Birkenstock sandal. So yeah, my feet hurt every day I go to work.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Taking the high road isn't easy on this one,...
Really? Wow. This is on Bob's former mother-in-law's facebook. Starla was Vickey's friend whose son at one point was dating Amanda. And in Starla's moronic mind, she and Bob would get together and they could be one big happy incestuous family. Apparently I'm the devil reincarnated because I got in the way of that dream.
There's more ugly posts about me as well. I guess that means I'm as fascinating as I always thought I was.
There's more ugly posts about me as well. I guess that means I'm as fascinating as I always thought I was.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Evolution
The older I get, the less I care about a lot of things.
I remember growing up being poor and thinking it was a sign of being "not poor" by spending money unnecessarily and acting like it was no big deal. See....that made me not be poor. Having money to spend.
We grew up in a house that seriously needed painting. We were the poor kids at school. And really, we weren't poor as much as our parents didn't want to spend any money on us kids. If it weren't for my uncles, I would never have had clothes or shoes for school. My mom really should never had children. I was always embarrassed, especially when it rained because our poor house really looked shabby then.
As soon as I was able, I started working. From that point on, I paid for everything for myself. I paid my own insurance, bought my own clothes, paid for the upkeep on my vehicle...everything. And sometimes, I spent money that I shouldn't have trying to prove I wasn't that poor white trash girl from Amity Road.
I always fought that as an adult. I always worried that people were looking down on me because I was poor. I fought hard to get off of Amity Road. But it wasn't until I had Nick that I really wrapped my head around what life really was about. Because in reality, it wasn't about me. It was about my son.
I went back to school. I went to school for 11 years at night to earn my degree. And dang...I was proud. I bought a house. I was making good money. I spent a lot of money. I built a pool in my backyard. Remodeled my house. I was flying high....poor white trash from Amity Road made good.
And then slowly, life intervened in my ego trip. Some really ugly things have come down in the last few years. I've lost my house, which in truth, is my dream house in a lot of ways. Mostly because it was my dream. I'm financially ruined -- I've lost a lot.
But you know what? It's okay. It's money. I'll make more.
I'm healthy. I have a good family. I have good friends. Not lots of them, but the people I count as friends are true friends.
My son is healthy. And he's a damned good kid. He isn't perfect. But he's Nick. He's respectful and tries to be helpful. He has a strong moral compass. He will be a strong young man that is a leader.
That's what life is about. What we leave behind....not what we spend massive amounts of time earning money so we can collect things.
Today, all three kids were gone and it was just Bob and I. I was studying for my certification test and he was farting around in the garage. Periodically, he would come in just to kiss me. I made him lunch and took him iced tea, and snuck a kiss. We didn't talk much, but we didn't need to.
Bob is trying to sort through some of the stuff in the garage and continues to work on merging our belongings. It's absolutely amazing the amount of material items we both have. We could probably fill a Wal-Mart corner store's shelves with stuff. A lot of good stuff, but nevertheless its stuff.
At the end of the day, it isn't any of that stuff that makes me happy. I miss my house, but I love living with Bob. I miss my pool, but I love having pizza and watching a movie with my family. I miss the status symbol of owning my own home, but I love going to bed with a man that rubs my back and tells me he loves me, even spelling it out so I understand.
Evolution. It's a wonderous thing.
I remember growing up being poor and thinking it was a sign of being "not poor" by spending money unnecessarily and acting like it was no big deal. See....that made me not be poor. Having money to spend.
We grew up in a house that seriously needed painting. We were the poor kids at school. And really, we weren't poor as much as our parents didn't want to spend any money on us kids. If it weren't for my uncles, I would never have had clothes or shoes for school. My mom really should never had children. I was always embarrassed, especially when it rained because our poor house really looked shabby then.
As soon as I was able, I started working. From that point on, I paid for everything for myself. I paid my own insurance, bought my own clothes, paid for the upkeep on my vehicle...everything. And sometimes, I spent money that I shouldn't have trying to prove I wasn't that poor white trash girl from Amity Road.
I always fought that as an adult. I always worried that people were looking down on me because I was poor. I fought hard to get off of Amity Road. But it wasn't until I had Nick that I really wrapped my head around what life really was about. Because in reality, it wasn't about me. It was about my son.
I went back to school. I went to school for 11 years at night to earn my degree. And dang...I was proud. I bought a house. I was making good money. I spent a lot of money. I built a pool in my backyard. Remodeled my house. I was flying high....poor white trash from Amity Road made good.
And then slowly, life intervened in my ego trip. Some really ugly things have come down in the last few years. I've lost my house, which in truth, is my dream house in a lot of ways. Mostly because it was my dream. I'm financially ruined -- I've lost a lot.
But you know what? It's okay. It's money. I'll make more.
I'm healthy. I have a good family. I have good friends. Not lots of them, but the people I count as friends are true friends.
My son is healthy. And he's a damned good kid. He isn't perfect. But he's Nick. He's respectful and tries to be helpful. He has a strong moral compass. He will be a strong young man that is a leader.
That's what life is about. What we leave behind....not what we spend massive amounts of time earning money so we can collect things.
Today, all three kids were gone and it was just Bob and I. I was studying for my certification test and he was farting around in the garage. Periodically, he would come in just to kiss me. I made him lunch and took him iced tea, and snuck a kiss. We didn't talk much, but we didn't need to.
Bob is trying to sort through some of the stuff in the garage and continues to work on merging our belongings. It's absolutely amazing the amount of material items we both have. We could probably fill a Wal-Mart corner store's shelves with stuff. A lot of good stuff, but nevertheless its stuff.
At the end of the day, it isn't any of that stuff that makes me happy. I miss my house, but I love living with Bob. I miss my pool, but I love having pizza and watching a movie with my family. I miss the status symbol of owning my own home, but I love going to bed with a man that rubs my back and tells me he loves me, even spelling it out so I understand.
Evolution. It's a wonderous thing.
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